Today it’s generally considered impolite to show up at a friend or relative’s home without texting first. And, I’m often uncertain about whether friends prefer me to make a home-cooked meal or for us to go out for dinner. I’ve always assumed that it was very different a hundred years ago, and that people just dropped by with no advance notice and that home-cooked meals were the norm when it came to entertaining, so I was surprised to learn that it was much more nuanced back then. Here are few excerpts from an articletitled “When We Entertain Our Friends” that was in a 1924 issue of American Cookery
In the old days, such a thing as taking our friends out to eat would have been considered inhospitable in the extreme. Our mothers and grandmothers considered that relatives and social acquaintances came for the joy of sharing the intimate association of the family life whether it was humble or elaborate.
The visitors often came unannounced, and for a stay of considerable length. It was nothing to have a “load” drive up just a meal time, and the well-stocked cellar and pantry always responded nobly to such emergency demands.
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[The homemaker] reasons that, everything considered, it is easier and no more expensive to take her friends out to a hotel or restaurant, than to go through the nervous strain of trying to play the gracious hostess under more or fewer handicaps.
And so, this hotel, and that well-known eating place, and some noisy restaurant, where an orchestra discourses sweet (?) and very loud jazz music, all are enriched by our money. Quite as likely as not, the meal is followed by an evening of paid entertainment, and anything in the nature of a comforting exchange of confidences or inspiring discussions, or brilliant conversations is crowded out entirely.
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We are just learning in how many ways we follow a cycle in our lives today. We do not go backward in doing this. We keep moving ahead. And one of the progressive signs of the times is the increasing interest in having our friends share with us as good as we have, right where we live.
American Cookery (October, 1924)
The article’s advice is a hundred-years old, but it reinforces what I intuitively knew – entertaining at home is special. It builds memories, supports the development of strong relationships, and is just plain fun.
Great article Sheryl! So glad you found this.
It’s nice to hear that you enjoyed this post.
I prefer to share meals with loved ones in their home or mine, it’s so much more intimate and sweet. But some folks just do not cook, so restaurants or take-out are an acceptable substitute these days. I enjoyed reading these musings from 100 years ago, Sherry, and I agree with them.
In todays world if people show up unannounced they deserve what they get that . It could be a home cooked meal because my pantry is always stocked or a drive thru fast food cause that was what I was planning after a long day!
I can’t think of the last time someone showed up unannounced at my house and expected a meal. I do however find that I sometimes go to an event or go shopping with friends, and then say on the spur of the moment “Want to come over to my house? We could order pizza or something.”
That is a whole different kettle of fish and menu!!!! Love it when that comes together!
Yikes, so harsh. I was merely talking about meals with loved ones, not unannounced visitors.
Yep…them too. Although I have to say since my family is coming hundreds if not thousand of miles to drop by they are pretty good about letting me know so that I can clear off the bed in the guest room and fix old family favorites.
Your family sounds like mine. I definitely know which foods are favorites of each of my children, and try to make them when that child visits.
I agree- some people don’t cook or find it difficult to entertain at home. The important thing is developing and maintaining relationships, talking and sharing stories, and generally making the time to enjoy one another. It doesn’t matter whether it occurs at home or a restaurant.
True. Gathering at home is warmer, but I like going to a restaurant so the host can enjoy it as much as the rest of us instead of hustling to serve. I do remember, though, that back in the days when I entertained for dinner at home, I alway tried to serve things that we pretty much ready to be brought to the table when guests arrived. On the other hand, when I attend dinner parties these days I love the informality of gathering before eating and everybody pitching in.
I agree- it’s nice to go to a restaurant so the host can relax and enjoy the meal like everyone else. I’m like you – I always try to have the foods pretty much ready to be brought to the table when guests arrive. I wish that I was better at letting everyone pitch in to prepare the meal.
And I wanted no one else in the kitchen but my husband and me. He was really good about team work in dinner prep — sometimes good at co-op in cleaning up. I learned to enjoy the relaxation of cleaning up at my leisure, along with another glass of wine.
I like how you approached cleaning up. 🙂
A great article. I like feeding friends at home, especially these days, when serving up what you might have been eating anyway is acceptable in a way that it wasn’t so much, in ‘dinner party’ days.
I like how meals are very informal now, and that it doesn’t require a lot of planning or prep to have guests over.
I’m wondering how much food one would have on hand 100 years ago. I think a lot of shopping was done daily. I do cook all the meals when our family vacations in the mountains, but it takes lots of planning to feed a big group.
My sense is that families typically shopped much less frequently a hundred years ago. Many people still lived in rural areas, and they only got to town once every week or so. Also many probably had lots of home canned foods, and produce that they raised.
And maybe chickens in the backyard.
And, they maybe had milk from a cow in the barn.